Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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