Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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