if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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