you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
