SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
