I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
