oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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