wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
