that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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