There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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