pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
