Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
