shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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