Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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