She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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