I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
