He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
