I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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