the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You left your phone here
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