is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
