Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The struggles of a small town man whore
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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