Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
