Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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