Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
