I don't think brook has ever known best
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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