Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
