No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
