AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
