drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
