I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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