Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You pole danced in your parka.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
