she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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