I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
