i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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