just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
