Pregnant stripper...not hot.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
