All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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