I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
