I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
