i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
