those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
