Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
