my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
