apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
