hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
