He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
