Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
