16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
