Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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