Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
