Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
